


The quiet of wanting

by bloodandcream



Series: Ship all the Ships [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, and I dont know what this is I was really drunk when I wrote it ok, and like adopted siblings, its only vague porn, they're humans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:08:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2448107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandcream/pseuds/bloodandcream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He nurtured her sense of self, her sense of want, when she was most vulnerable. But she couldn’t fault him for that. He was as trapped as any of them were.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The quiet of wanting

She whimpered quietly and bit against her arm, stifling the sounds she couldn’t seem to suppress from her own mouth. It was past midnight, had to be past one am by now, and everyone in the house should be tucked safe and warm into their beds by now. Except for her. And her brother Lucifer.

She was adopted. So many of them were. And although she told herself that it made it all right, the fact that they weren’t blood related, it still felt wrong. It felt dirty. And it only excited her more. She had come into this house years ago, young and wide eyed and jaded, cynical against the world like her hate could protect her, like her own stubbornness and free will would mean anything. It really didn’t . Not in this household.

There were so many of them, and she used to question why, but anymore Anna felt lost in a sea of children, all needing, all wanting. There was only so much their Father could give them. Only so much he could do to ease their questions, their hunger.

She had turned to the others, looking for answers, looking for anything. Most replied with the same answer she had heard repeated time and again. Father will take care, Father will supply all, Father knows best.

He didn’t. She couldn’t believe that he did. Anna questioned what they were taught; all of them, the whole brood, were home schooled. It was a large family farm, acres and acres of isolation surrounding them. She just couldn’t believe.

But he was there. One of her brothers. Anna had no idea if he was one of the children that their Father had sired himself, or if he was one of the adopted. It didn’t particularly matter. For where she had come from, there was no chance they were siblings but by name. He gave her what she needed. He nurtured her rebellion, her desire for more, her search for answers.

She wasn’t sure if she could believe the answers that he gave, the violence and the malevolence laced behind his sweet sounding words. But she did believe. In rebellion. In independence.

There were few of them who did.

He nurtured her sense of self, her sense of want, when she was most vulnerable. But she couldn’t fault him for that. He was as trapped as any of them were.

Anna had made the first move, as it were, had kissed him first underneath an apple tree in the orchard of their Father’s farm. There was so much space around them, so much possibility, how could she believe in anything but her own choice, her own desire, blossoming as a young woman in heat and curiosity.

Lucifer. Her brother. By name at least. He was strong and he was clever. He was the things that she most wanted to be. She gravitated towards him, to his knowing gaze and his experienced hands. He taught her the things she knew, although eventually he took a different path. He taught her the sins of the flesh that their Father would so deny them.

He taught her to want, and to take. He taught her strength. He gave her of himself, his skin and his warmth and his needing. She learned that all men had weakness, whether they would acknowledge it or not. They had weakness for what their flesh wanted, for her soft curves and her slender hands. She could give him that, for what he taught her.

They came together in quiet aggression, both fully aware of the sins of their actions, more than in the laws writ unto mans flesh by God but in the sins writ unto humans by society’s scorn. They came together in the quiet of the fields and the dark of all the secret places of the old farmhouse. Because they had things to give each other and to take.

Lucifer taught her how to lead men, by their cocks, by knowing where to place her lips and how, to suck the very will from their bodies with her skill. And he taught her how to seek her own power, he own pleasure, with the subtle commands and the endurance that was a woman’s strength.

They could never make light of what was between them, for the titles, for the meaning of their names, but they knew, without so much as a word, what they were for each other. Though their ideals were different their methods were the same, knowing how and why and wherefore.

In the quietude of dark closets and the spaces beneath the stairs, in the damp of basements and the privacy of fields they learned of each other and what it was to rebel. Yet they rebelled for their own reasons and out of their own strengths.

She bit against her arm, attempting to quiet herself when he goaded her on, pushing harder and too much too quick. Hands on her hips, tilting her back into his hold, giving more of the tangible things that she could touch and know, he fucked her in the quiet of the night when they could convince themselves that there was no one else to pay mind.

There was, she knew there was, always eyes and ears in the old farm of their Father. She tried to be quiet, she did, when he touched every part of her that wanted, made her trembled and shake apart. But she couldn’t deny his presence, the loudness of his words even when they were barely a whisper. The fear of being found out only sharpened the edge of wanting she felt for him.


End file.
